I Don't Care About Your Kids.

This is something that has been gnawing at me for quite some time now. It seems like everywhere I look now, friends of mine are having kids and feel the need to share every minute detail about them. It's about time that I let all of you know that I don't give a flying fuck about your children.
The problem is especially prevalent on FaceBook. People are posting their pregnancy tests, ultrasounds and then their ugly ass kids. That's another thing, everybody thinks their children are these adorable little creatures when the simple fact is that there are a lot of hideous kids out there, and chances are you are the parents of one. But honestly people, I don't need an update every time your little rug rat takes a shit or says something mildly amusing. Keep that nonsense to yourself. Of course, it is pretty easy to ignore such updates on FB by simply editing who you see on your news feed; it is not as easy in real life. I cannot tell you how many times I'll be outside smoking with someone at work and they just start yasmmering away about what their precious child did or said. The problem here is that I spend 8-12 hours a day in a warehouse with these people, so I can't really just tell them to fuck off. Instead, I kindly smile and nod and think to myself "I DON'T FUCKING CARE!" I'm sure right about now is when some people may say, "That will be you someday.", and they're probably right, but that time is years away. For now, I'm going to enjoy not having to worry about anyone but myself, while you beckon on the calls and needs of that little shit and snot machine you call a "miracle." Just do me a favor, unless I ask, keep me out of it.

I Will Return, and With a Vengeance!

Okay, for the 4 followers I have and anyone else who may have stumbled across this, I would like to apologize. I have been slacking hardcore, and I know this. There are a couple of reasons for my lapses, but nothing really devastating or worth sharing here. Just know that I am in the process of finding a new apartment by months end, so my hiatus will be extended a little longer, but once I'm settled in, by the 2nd week of April, I will be back in that ass with the resurrection. So thank you for your patience, I shall return!

What's the point of New Year's Resolutions?

Well, it's that time of the year again. The time when people will be quitting smoking, working out, dieting, etc. in droves. And I really don't understand it. I was never one to make a Resolution, except maybe to quit smoking here and there (but don't they tell you to set a deadline to quit?), so I never really had to worry about breaking them. Two of the most popular Resolutions are to quit smoking and quit swearing. And I enjoy doing both of those things entirely to much to stop doing either of them.
Now to be clear, when I said earlier that I didn't understand making a New Year's Resolution, it's not that I don't get the reasoning. People making promises to make themselves better, I'm cool with that. No, what I don't get is why people wait till January 1st to do whatever is they are trying to do. First of all, if you want to make a New Year's Resolution, you should do so on your date of birth, since that is technically the start your "new year". But more importantly, if you really want to better yourself, you shouldn't wait till it is trendy to do so. You want to quit smoking? Put the butt out right now. You want to lose weight? Drop the fork and get your floppy ass to the gym. There is no better time than right now. If you are truly serious about improving who you are either physically, mentally or spiritually, then you shouldn't set a date on when to start, you should do it immediately. No one knows how long where going to ride this roller coaster of life, and before you actually get around to bettering yourself, it may be too late. The safety bar may come loose and send you flying face first into the horn of a unicorn on the merry-go-round. (But at least you didn't die from smoking!)